Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
