is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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