It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
