What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
