Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
