at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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