it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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