i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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