I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
