I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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