I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
