Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
