You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
