Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
