we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
