I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
