we made out on top of his cat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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