I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
