no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
