Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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