youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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