how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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