Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
