Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
