Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
