i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
