Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
