Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Say something about gay babies.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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