I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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