He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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