I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize