Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
