Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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