remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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