You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You ruined the universe
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
