I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
