Betty ford says i'm here all night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
