margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's blow job season.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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