Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
