love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't turn off my feet"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
