She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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