Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
