Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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