So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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