we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
