I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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