Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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