You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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