your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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