There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
