No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
