Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
