oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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