There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
as a side note pls kill me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
