what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
