I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
