New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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