is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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