did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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