You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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