Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
