I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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