My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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