Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
