Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
