laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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