the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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