when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize