If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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