I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
